What the FODMAP?

So, I've just been told by my dietitian that all things considered, after proving negative for Coeliac Disease, Crohns, and Colitis, that they don't actually know what's wrong with me.  And this is, she assured me, a good thing.  It probably is.  Coeliac, Crohns and Colitis are pretty rough conditions, which can not only affect the quality of your life, but also the length of your life.

I guess I'll go into the ins and outs of my condition, its causes, its symptoms and how I'm coping on a FODMAP diet later.  But for now, I just want to say one thing.

Work-wise, I'm very organised and juggle a full-time job with freelance and voluntary work.  But when it comes to other spheres of my life, I'm less organised.  A lot less organised.

I've managed to get to 37, having partied my way through most of the nineties, noughties and now the teenies (is that we're calling this decade) relatively unscathed health-wise.  I've had a demanding and stressful job ever since university, and I rarely switch off.  The closest I come to switching off is actually going on standby for a few hours.

I'm the youngest child.  I live constantly with The Fear Of Missing Out (look up FOMO).  If I get invited to the pub, coffee-shop or for food - it's normally a yes.

My stock joke about myself is:

Me: "So I finally did an online ADHT test recently?"
Friend: "Yeh?  What did you come out as?"
Me: "Dunno, got bored and didn't finish it"

Well it made me laugh.

Anyway, when it comes to my personal life, I'm many things, but "disciplined", "routine-loving" and "orderly" are not three words and phrases I would use to describe myself.  I have no daily routine, I tend to live in the moment and be spontaneous.  Planning my personal life fills me with horror (I'm a typical Sagittarius).

So, being put on a FODMAP diet is going to take orderly planning, routines and discipline.  Lots of discipline.  And then more discipline.  On top of discipline.  And I hate discipline.

So, I'm writing this blog.  Not because I particularly want to document the culinary delights of my FODMAP diet, or celebrate my elevation through the Bristol Stool Chart.  I'm sure I will come on to my, erm, inputs and outputs at some stage.  No, this blog is mainly about one  perennially-chaotic, haphazard, freedom-loving, happy-go-lucky man's journey into the world of order and discipline.

So join me, for the next three months, as I try to explain to my friends what the FODMAP is.

SB

I could murder a Peroni :(